NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Bring me that man meat
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
