party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize