So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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