they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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