I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
