Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
im holly from the hills drunk
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize