I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I don't deserve a penis
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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