he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
