watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I need moral support for this bender
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
