Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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