This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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