I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
