actually, I'm a sock model
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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