but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
