I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize