We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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