I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Watching her eat just hurts me
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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