He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
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