Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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