I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
