this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
