I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
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