I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Shame - the story of my life.
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