I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
