So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
operation have a gay friend backfired
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Randomize
