Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
