Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
