Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Randomize
