Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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