What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
