i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Randomize
