3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Less talking, more tequila
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
A+ Viking dick
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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