the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
did i walk over a car last night?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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