He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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