Are we in a gay sports bar?
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
