he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
