hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize