How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Randomize
