Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Never underestimate the power of titties
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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