What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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