There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
