I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
