Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Randomize
