i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
