Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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