i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
