thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
