I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
