do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
operation harelip BJ is a go
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
