dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
