i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Randomize
