When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
