Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Randomize