She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
