'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
You smell like stripper and shame
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Randomize