she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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