What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
