home. puking in laundry basket.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
