After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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