How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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